Singles' and Relationships: Singles who can not find a good relationship after three or four years of actively trying are not being realistic. Maybe they are not being realistic about the opposite sex. But many singles are not realistic about themselves.

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Singles and relationships: Singles often can't find a good relationship because they expect to get more than they can give.

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Singles and Relationships

Personal Inventory
Time to be Realistic About You
By DH Owens

If you can never find just the right relationship for you over a reasonable period of time, like three or four years, maybe you are not being realistic.

It is possible that you are not being realistic about the opposite sex. But it is just as likely that you are not being realistic about yourself.

You will probably not get a relationship in this world with a person who has much more to give than you can give.

Unfortunately, most of us have never stopped to consider why someone would want a relationship with us.

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This might be the perfect time to take a few minutes for an inventory to determine your strengths and weaknesses.

 Relationship Inventory

Divide a sheet of lined paper into three columns. Label the columns "Strengths," "Weaknesses," "Perspective."

Divide the sheet into six or more categories. We suggest these categories:

  • Personality
  • Interests
  • Character & Values
  • Socio-Economic-Cultural
  • Physical Attractiveness
  • Sexual Desirability

List several strengths and weaknesses for each category. Be certain you list equal number of strengths and weaknesses for each category.

After you list your attributes, try to put them in the perspective of the opposite sex. Maybe an opposite-sex friend could help you get better perspective.

Now what do you think?

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Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of SOLO for Singles. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health, legal, or other professional whose expertise you might need to seek.