Single parents need to keep a sense of family for their children now that the children's family of origin is broken. |
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Single parents need to give their children a sense of family. |
What is a family? This is a question single parents ask time and time again because it is so important to give our children of single parents a sense of family. For children of single parents it must be more than Thanksgiving dinner at Mom's and Christmas dinner at Dad's. We are all anchored to a vast network of family relationships, family patterns, family rules, and various roles played by members of our family. This is the family personality and the family system. We carry this family with us into any new family that we form. It is our
family of origin. |
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All families feel special, even families with severe problems. Every individual identifies with the family and this identifications creates the family unit.
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We grow up in this family of origin which teaches us more than we
can ever imagine. In fact, when we leave to marry or make our mark on the world, it is
that family of origin that has made its mark on us. We will spend the rest of our lives
trying to re-create that family in some way. When our children's family or origin is ended by divorce or death, it is still important to give them that sense of family. All families feel special, even families with severe problems like physical or substance abuse. Every individual identifies with the family and this identifications creates the family unit. Make certain your child still has that sense of family. It is important. Most families follow certain rituals that reinforce this identity. The family personality is those peculiarities that seem to "run in the family." It is often expressed in "always" and "never." |
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"We Wilsons always eat Thanksgiving dinner at noon.
And we never eat turkey. We always have ham." "The Murray family is a vegetarian family. We think that's the healthy way to eat, especially for children and teens." Any home has rules. They are tied to the family identity and destiny. These rules are not right or wrong. They are just the "way we Wilsons or Murrays do it." However, to the Wilsons or Murrays, these rules are the right rules. Again, this sense of family is important to the child who has lost the complete circle of his/her family of origin.
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Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of SOLO for Singles. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health, legal, or other professional whose expertise you might need to seek.