Single parents; When you need to discipline a child to stop behaviors, 1-2-3 Magic is magic indeed!
Count to three. |
Count to Three 1-2-3 Magic In his book 1-2-3 Magic, Training Your Child to Do What You Want, Thomas Phelan adds a twist to time-out that works for many single parents. According to Phelan, you must first rid yourself of an erroneous idea about children known as the "little adult assumption." Kids are not little adults; they are kids. Explanations, persuasions, and logical reasoning usually have little or no effect on children. They simply do not respond to reasons and explanations like adults do. Second, you must determine if you have a stop-behavior problem, such as arguing, tantrums, and teasing, or if you have a start-behavior problem, such as going to or rising from bed, eating, and doing homework or chores. The 1-2-3 counting system is used to deal with stop-behavior problems like whining, arguing, temper tantrums and the like. It is not used to get children to clean their room, rake the leaves, or finish their homework. Third, remember that children often feel small and inferior because they are smaller and less powerful than adults. Therefore, if they can arouse an emotion in parents, such as anger, excitement, or some other feeling, they have "scored" with an adult. They often enjoy the temporary power the emotions and attention that "scoring" bring. Phelan points out that single parents who exclaim, "It drives me absolutely crazy when he eats his dinner with his fingers. Why does he do that?", have often answered their own question. The child may do it at least partly because it drives his/her parents crazy. |
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