Singles Marry: We often complain we don't meet other singles. Yet we allow habits to keep us from expanding our comfort zone in meeting others. Like the old dog in west Texas, we continue to sit on the cactus. |
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| Singles and Marriage |
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Singles Marry: Meeting--It Takes CHANGE!! |
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By Rob McLean |
Singles and marriage: Expand the ways you pursue a long-term relationship and you might have a long-term relationship to pursue!! More about singles and marriage:
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Moving Off the Cactus... I used to live in Texas. I heard a story then about a dog in west Texas. He sat on the same patch of ground every day. One day, a prickly pear cactus started to grow where the dog liked to sit. He sat down anyway, then howled and howled. Everyday this dog went back to the same spot to sit and howl. Why didn't he move? Like some singles we know well, the dog would rather howl than change where it was used to sitting. Bringing new singles into our life depends, at least for most of us, upon our ability to change!! We know meeting someone is the first step to a relationship.
Yet, we often do the same things over and over--those very things that
have kept us from meeting a special person in the past are where we
continue sitting. We are singles of habit. The Random House Dictionary defines habit as "an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary." Everything we do in life begins as a constant effort. You did not get up and toddle off as a child. It was a constant effort to learn to walk. You fell down; you hurt; it was easier and more comfortable to be carried. Before you learned to walk, you had to change your habit and your comfort zone of being carried. |
Singles Reality Check: Love and Marriage Find the Single Who Is Easy to Find.
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Comfort
Zone... A comfort zone is a psychological zone above and below which we feel anxious. One of the major barriers for meeting other singles is our desire to stay within our comfort zone. The Tuesday night singles' group becomes our habit and our comfort zone. Why? After all, this is what we do on Tuesday night. Our buddies are there. Our "sitting" spot is the same. We are carried by the group. In fact, we are such creatures of habit, we had rather sit on a cactus with this group than move in another direction, even though this group is not a productive way of meeting new singles. Getting used to more productive ways of meeting singles requires: 1. Breaking our old habits. How will you change your old habits to expand your ways of meeting singles? 1. List your habitual ways of meeting other singles. 2. Choose one habit to break. 3. Decide upon one new way to expand. 4. Do it!! Stop attending the singles' group while starting at least one new way of meeting singles. Keep after it until you break this one habit and expand your comfort zone. Give yourself three weeks to a month for breaking one habit, then expand your comfort zone again with another new way to meet singles. Need ideas? Try my 25 Ways to Meet Your Lover for new ways to meet. Note: Friends are the best part of life. Breaking old habits should not require breaking old friendships. Try meeting your favorite Tuesday night buddies in a different place rather then sitting in the same old spot!! You will do your friends, and you, a favor. More about singles and marriage.
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Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of SOLO for Singles. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health, legal, or other professional whose expertise you might need to seek.