Lonely Singles and Loneliness: There are several mistakes or errors lonely singles make for relieving loneliness. It is important to seek the correct relief from loneliness. 

  Lonely singles and loneliness:  Check out these errors and don't think loneliness is relieved by them in a permanent manner. 

Mistakes Lonely  Singles Make to Relieve Loneliness
By SOLO for Singles Staff

There are several mistakes or errors singles make for relieving loneliness. Often these mistakes make loneliness worse. Check out these errors and don't think loneliness is relieved by them in a permanent manner.

1. Work

Some singles bury themselves in work. This helps many singles cope for the short haul. However, it is a coping mechanism only, not a permanent solution. If excessive work continues for months, it becomes part of the problem rather than part of the solution. Work is not a permanent relief from loneliness.

2. Casual Dating

Casual dating may be helpful relief to some singles; it may make loneliness seem worse to other singles.

However, this is not a choice you can make alone. It takes two people to have a date. Both must be willing to leave dating at a casual level before this relaxed state can last. That rarely happens. Almost inevitably the other person will get serious--about you or someone else.

So, seeking a casual partner of the opposite sex for dinner and an occasional night at the movies is usually a waste of time. Singles should save their time and energy for   "permanent relief."

3. Children

Many single parents, especially single moms, bury themselves in their children's lives. This is not only an eventual burden to the children, it is merely putting off the inevitable.

Children grow up and leave the nest. When the children are grown, the loneliness issue will have to be faced and relief found then. Clinging to grown children for a social life is hard on them and you.

This is not to say children should be neglected while parents dance, party, and see their friends. It is just to say that mom and dad should take care of themselves and their life, too.

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4. New Relationships

Many singles enter one short-term (six months to three year)   relationship after another in order to relieve the distress of being alone. This sometimes includes an all-too-hasty and for-all-the-wrong reason marriage. If this fails, too (the divorce rate for second marriages is close to  80%), even more feelings of loneliness are spawned.

Concluding any relationship should be followed by a period of grieving. This is necessary before anyone is ready for the next relationship to develop.

Rushing into another marriage or opposite-sex relationships strictly to cure loneliness circumvents the grieving process. The new relationship is usually doomed to end, too, unless the grieving process and the process of loneliness relief is completed in advance.

5. Wrong Friend

A person who more or less excludes his/her friends from life everytime a significant other appears is not the best candidate for a close friendship. He/she is rarely there for the long haul. You can do better than this person for curing your loneliness.

6. Play

Other singles enter a whirlwind of parties and social activities to relieve loneliness. They join social groups, learn to dance, take cruises, and party, party, party!

This might be a mistake. Yet, it could be just what the doctor ordered.

In the beginning these activities are filled with superficial relationships, but close friendships can develop from the party crowd.

In the meantime, these superficial social contacts help ease the pain of social loneliness.

Play is only a mistake, then, when it leads to irresponsible behavior, such as being late to work, neglecting children, excessive drinking, unsafe sex,   etc.

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