Single Women Understand Men and Sex: Sexual rejection: men often don't distinguish between the rejection of them sexually and the rejection of them as a whole person. When men let their guard down for sex, it makes them more vulnerable to rejections by women. Men are very vulnerable before, during, and after sex and if rejected, often appear mad or angry rather than hurt.

SOLO for Singles

Respected since 1991

Singles and Intimacy: Intimate Relations

Single Men and Sexual Rejection from Single Women
Promoting Sexual Understanding Between Single Men and Women

By DH Owens

Sex and Men for Single Women: Women should be aware that men are particularly vulnerable to rejection  before, during, and after sex. Sex opens men up to rejection and sexual rejects are often seen as personal rejections.

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The fact that men are allowed to express themselves sexually from an early age gives them some confidence in the sexual arena. But the fact that they let their guard down here makes them more vulnerable than ever.

Their defenses are down and they are at risk. They are like a turtle without a shell-easily punctured and hurt.

In addition, men often don't distinguish between the rejection of them sexually and the rejection of them as a whole person.

But will they act hurt when they are rejected?

Probably not. That is not an acceptable emotion for men in our society.

They are more likely to act mad or sullen, or merely withdraw. Their defensive reaction to the injury is detached, distant, or critical in keeping with society's expectations of men.

Often the reaction is, "I'm gone; I'm out of here."

Does this mean women should have sex with men whenever or wherever the men wish, just to avoid wounding them in their vulnerable state?

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Remember that not all single men are like all other single men --and--not all single women are like all other single women. 

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Of course not.

But it does mean they should be aware that men are particularly vulnerable before, during, and after sex. This is not the time to launch into a ten minute dissertation of what is wrong with his sexual technique.

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