Singles can develop self-esteem by following six steps. No one can take the self-esteem you develop away from you. No one can control you.

When you approve your  actions,  your feelings,  and your thoughts, you build healthy self-esteem  that no  one can take away from you. When you seek approval from  others, however, you lose control of your self-esteem.

Develop Self-Esteem.
By Chris Wilson

A  feeling  of positive self-worth can be developed over time with the following six steps:

1. Identify and fulfill your needs.

Determine the changes you want in your life. These changes can be in  a  relationship, your job, your social life,  your  feelings, your  attitudes,  etc.  Choose the changes YOU  want,  not  those changes someone wants for you.

Once  you have identified your needs, be persistent in the  quest to fulfill them. Keep trying until your needs are fulfilled.  You can  ask others for help, but you are in charge here and you  are the person who has to make certain your needs are fulfilled!

When you have low self-esteem, you are like a squirrel on a treadmill,. You race    away from self-esteem to get away from  your  own  criticisms. You  race toward unrealistic and perfectionistic goals that doom self-esteem.

Self-approval  is  lasting! When you approve your  actions,  your feelings,  and your thoughts, you build healthy self-esteem  that no  one can take away from you. When you seek approval from  others, however, you lose control over that aspect of your life.

Appreciate your own effort; don't wait for others to approve you. Give yourself a hug, a pat on the back, a gold star, a hug, and more!

3. Share experiences.

Journaling helps you share your experiences with  you.

Keep  a journal  for seven to ten days to identify your needs. Note  what makes you feel positive and what makes you feel negative. At  the end of that time, review the journal to identify unmet needs.

After you begin having successes and realize that you can change, keep  a journal of your successes.

Choose a supportive friend or relative and tell your friend  what you  have  done. Explain that you are not  looking  or  expecting their approval or disapproval; you merely want them to listen  to you from time to time.

Notice the feelings that are aroused, though, as you say positive things about yourself.

4. Review your successes.

Another  reason to keep a success journal is to have  a  "success review" from time to time. Going back to past successes is excellent for self-encouragement.

5. Jump off the treadmill.

When you have low self-esteem, you are like an animal on a treadmill,  racing  endlessly to get away from  your  own  criticisms, while  racing toward unrealistic and perfectionistic goals.

Yet  all  you  need to do to build self-esteem is  jump  off  the treadmill and believe you are good enough; you are deserving; you are capable; you are lovable.

6. Get in touch with feelings.

If  you  were taught to repress your feelings in  the  past,  you eventually  lost  touch with them. Therefore, you must  learn  to express those feelings now, even though it might be risky.

The above six steps will lead you to self-esteem.

Development is change. Change is uncomfortable. That is  why  you often wait for life to knock you down before you change.

Yet signs of needing to change appear in the form of small  hurts and  irritations.  

If  you start to change yourself when  these irritations and hurts are small, you start to build  self-esteem and open new options for your life. 

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