Singles Date Again: If you evaluate yourself strictly on the outcome of the date, your self-esteem takes a beating with each date. Most dates won't be great but they are the only way to get to know the other person. More about singles and dating again:
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We all know dating is the emotional roller-coaster of being single. The date was great; you're up. It was the date from hell; you're down. Most dates won't be great. Yet not dating means nothing will happen for you. Make any time of the year a new beginning for you by taking your life off the emotional roller coaster. How? 1. Do something even if it is wrong. According to David Burns, M.D., people are "doers." Consequently, you can substantially change the way you feel by changing the way you act. Most people feel better immediately if they do anything at all. Any action brings a feeling of accomplishment; a feeling of getting off dead-center. Try this. List three ways you can be proactive in your dating life in the next two months. Break each way into weekly "to-do" lists or steps. Each time you complete a step, give yourself a big pat on the back. Don't expect perfection. If you can never settle for anyone short of perfect, you will defeat yourself and continually settle for nothing. Don't fear failure. If you evaluate yourself strictly on the outcome, rather than your personal effort during the dating process, your self-esteem takes a beating with each rejection. All you can ever control is your personal input into the process. You can't control the outcome. Once you concentrate on the process of dating itself, rather than the outcome of each date, you can learn from mistakes, attempt to correct them in the future, and take yourself off the emotional roller-coaster of the dating world. |
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