Pat,
I went out on a date about a two weeks ago with a guy who seemed EXTREMELY interested in me and I in him. We had a great time and he wasn't afraid to express to what a great time he was having...

I think I've been dating long enough to know the difference between a good date; a really good date and a mediocre date... this was a really good date and I was
100% when he said good night and what a great time he had and that he would definitely call and that there was NO reason he wouldn't.

Well a week goes by and no call...ok fine...I can deal.. maybe he's busy... not what I expected but fine... maybe we place too high of an expectation on the "male species" anyway... that's why we are always being let down.

Anyway...I originally met him at his place of business where I frequently have reason to go in... and,  of course, I needed to go in there a week and 3 days--on Monday after our Saturday night date. When he saw me he seemed very sincere and went on to tell about how he lost this "vital information" (my phone number) and why wouldn't I have come in to see what "the story" was since I didn't hear from him unless I just thought he was a complete "loser."

Needless to say I was floored and fell for this AGAIN. He said what a "great" night he had and could he have my phone number again....

He still has not placed a phone call four days later ...which to me is a clear indication of "no-interest"

I am not trying to sound naive or desperate. Nine times out of ten I don't expect a guy to call (when they say they will) nor do I want them to, but every once in a while you meet someone you really,  really like. I guess this is one of
those times.

Like I said, I've been in the dating scene for quite some time and am pretty perceptive when it comes to people who are interested in you vs. people who aren't.  I certainly DO NOT try and kid myself when it comes to this matter. I don't want to be with someone who isn't interested in me...

But it just baffles me that this guy would go to all the trouble to tell me how great a night he had (and it wasn't over the top; it was, what I thought to be quite sincere)....and then he saw me again, tell me what a "great" night he had, ask for my phone number again to NOT call me.

Seems like a lot of work...or maybe not. I just don't get it. Can you explain it to me???
AP

Dear AP:

No, I can't explain it to you. Asking for your phone number the second time definitely seems to indicate an interest.

On the positive side, he may be "getting his nerve up to call you" or genuinely busy.

Also, women and men often have different time frames. Often, women expect a call sooner than men act. Women think the next day would be nice; men think the next month would be fine. He obviously things ten days is too long...

On the negative side, maybe he is a non-committer, collects women or their phone numbers for fun, or is afraid of losing your business if he doesn't seem interested.

If you have to go back to his place of business, look the other way.

Good luck to you and if you figure it out, let me know.

Pat

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