Dear Pat:

I recently had (and it is still kind of in flux I guess) a relationship with a non-committer.  Don't know for sure that's what she is, but there is only little doubt in my mind that is what is wrong with her.   Anyway,  things were going great,  She made it appear to me that everything was perfect, and then all of a sudden am,  she wants to end it...  Really annoying actually.  So I started thinking about things and realized that was probably what is wrong with her.  So the other day we were talking about it, and I told her that I thought she had a fear of commitment. 

My main question for you, is there anything that she can do?  Can she seek professional help and get this worked out,  if I am extremely supportive to her and make the relationship as perfect as I possibly can is there a possibility that she may eventually come out of it? 

Of course Im not even sure how interested I am in trying to help her out unless she actually makes some effort in making our relationship work (something she really has not done thus far).  Anyway if you could let me know what can be done for a non-committer, so I can relay the info to her,  and basically let her figure out if she wants to help herself from there.
 
I would really appreciate the assistance. 
K W

Dear   KW:

People can always seek professional help and many do work things out in that manner. However, she will have to be ready to do this before it will work.

No one will change until they are ready to do so.

If she does it because you want her to do it, rather than wanting to do it herself, it will probably be a waste of time.

Good luck to you!
Pat

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