Dear Pat,

I have had a relationship that just ended. I really fell for this lady. I have never been married, and have been visually handicapped for the last 13 years, so it is really difficult to met someone. This lady was someone whom I dated for 11 months.

Being that I have no children, I had no experience with children. However, somehow, these 2 children "grew" on me, so besides the feelings I have for the mother, I fell for the kids as well.

Our relationship has had it's share of problems, it's ups and downs, but for the most part, we have been able to work through them until now. Now I consider myself and honest, and straightforward person, with a good Christian background. I think the two of us complimented one another very well. We never yelled or raised our voices at one another, we settled out differences by discussion.

Her last marriage comes from an abusive situation. She was abused mentally and physically.

Here is the problem, one which no one at my church has a satisfactory answer, or neither does anyone else I have talked to. I hope you might shed some insights on this. According to her, our relationship is not meant to be, and that God told her no as far as our relationship is concerned, therefore, we can never see one another again. She said she has known this two months after we started our relationship.

We were engaged, but now she wants to be just friends. How can a guy go from being engaged to just friends? I may be a little narrow, but I find that a hard transition to make. She has told me more than once that I was everything she ever wanted in a man, and then some. I can understand her being scared, but she was divorced almost 5 years ago.

I care for her very much, and I miss her. I can reasonably figure things out on my own, but I have never had anyone tell me the reason we couldn't have a relationship was because God said "No". I am not one to argue about a person's faith, but how or what do you do in response to that? I am lost. Any information would greatly be appreciated. Thanks.

Dazed and confused....

Dear Dazed and Confused:

That is the most "original" and bizarre reason to end a relationship I have heard to date.

Of course you are hurt and confused.

I have no answers for you except to pick up and move on. No one can argue with another person when that person is ready to end a relationship.

It is very sad for the children, also.

I wish I could help you more.

Good luck to you,

Pat McChristie

972 949-4194

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